Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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