No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize