I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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