I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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