What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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