Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We are all done wearing pants today
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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