So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize