I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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