9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize