Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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