there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize