If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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