Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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