I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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