She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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