you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
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West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
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today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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