I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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