Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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