She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize