i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
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Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
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In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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