So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
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Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
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Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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