That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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