i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
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She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
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you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My vagina just clenched in fear
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