What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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