So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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