jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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