It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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