He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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