Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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