Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize