also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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