Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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