you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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