By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize