party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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