Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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