Texts From Last Night

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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.

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  (803): I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer. http://tfl.nu/7z73
  Replies (2) Good night (526) Bad night (888) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever

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  (503): I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever http://tfl.nu/qcqe
  Replies (7) Good night (795) Bad night (1565) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?

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  (806): How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her? http://tfl.nu/a3s8
  Replies (78) Good night (522) Bad night (7507) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  someone owes me an orgasm

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  (406): someone owes me an orgasm http://tfl.nu/u7wj
  Replies (17) Good night (1411) Bad night (3183) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.

  (1-443): View more from Maryland

  Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.

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  (443): Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain. (1-443): Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one. http://tfl.nu/00ky
  Replies (38) Good night (3740) Bad night (1412)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet

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  (508): I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet http://tfl.nu/ryzv
  Replies (19) Good night (4601) Bad night (447) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.

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  (717): Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk. http://tfl.nu/z5dl
  Replies (13) Good night (3707) Bad night (874) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"

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  (617): it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast" http://tfl.nu/sn1x
  Replies (11) Good night (1872) Bad night (2951) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock

  (347): View more from New York

  I THOUGHT I SAW YOU

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  (917): pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock (347): I THOUGHT I SAW YOU http://tfl.nu/jrv0
  Replies (27) Good night (13375) Bad night (1983)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"

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  (508): Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic" http://tfl.nu/1wpy
  Replies (30) Good night (2326) Bad night (2937) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  It was pathetic and I was covered in butter

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  (201): It was pathetic and I was covered in butter http://tfl.nu/w2vb
  Replies (5) Good night (1304) Bad night (735) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird

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  (908): She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird http://tfl.nu/j88i
  Replies (3) Good night (1713) Bad night (520) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.

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  (706): We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods. http://tfl.nu/j300
  Replies (2) Good night (933) Bad night (301) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants

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  (479): fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants http://tfl.nu/pys2
  Replies (8) Good night (899) Bad night (226) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks

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  (603): Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks http://tfl.nu/ddr9
  Replies (8) Good night (274) Bad night (507)

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