Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize