do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
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me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
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I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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