god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
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rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
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The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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