How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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