fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Buhtt sex?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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