I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize