please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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