I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize