OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize