If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize