I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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