hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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