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He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
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