im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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